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by LadyNighty12



Series: Eremin Week 2020 baby [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All characters except Eren and Armin are only mentioned, Around chapter 70 of the manga, First Kiss, Gen, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Takes place before they go to Shinganshina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23440087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNighty12/pseuds/LadyNighty12
Summary: Armin has a nightmare, and he needs to reassure himself Eren is fine. He didn't count on waking up Eren, though.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Series: Eremin Week 2020 baby [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686235
Comments: 3
Kudos: 118
Collections: Ereminweek 2020





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**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the tags, this takes place before they go to Shinganshina. Even before they talk with Shadis.  
> I know they don't have their own rooms, but let's imagine they do, okay?  
> Also, English isn't my first language so if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out.

He couldn’t believe he was really doing this.

He had spent the last half an hour trying to convince himself he was being childish and that he needed to go back to his room, but the other part of him refused to, leaving Armin with a decision he couldn’t make.

The logical part of his brain was losing though, since the moment he thought that getting up and sneaking into Eren’s room just to check he was alive was a totally reasonable thing to do. The fact that he spend thirty minutes gathering either enough courage to grab his hand and reassure himself once again that his body wasn’t missing anything or enough shame and common sense to get out of the room, yet still couldn’t do anything, just served as prove of how exhausted his mind was.

It would have probably taken him another hour to make a choice, but then Eren moved in his sleep, and as soon as he saw his face the decision was made.

His hand was warm between his, and the steady rhythm of his pulse helped him breathe normally again. It took him back to the years where it only was the three of them, where Mikasa and Armin hugged themselves to Eren every night trying to escape the cold, where they had to take turns to sleep if they didn’t know the streets, where he was never away from home, where comfort could never leave him, where his uselessness didn’t kill the one he loved the most.

Gasping, trying to regain the calm he had momentarily lost, he wasn’t aware he was now gripping Eren’s hand. That is, until a groan and a mumbled “Armin?” made him realize he had woken up Eren.

He let go of him and stood up so fast it made him dizzy. His head was racing, searching for an excuse as to why he was in a room that wasn’t his in the middle of the night, holding his unconscious friend’s hand like a creep. But of course, nothing came to mind.

As it turned out, an excuse wasn’t necessary.

Eren moved until his back was touching the wall, and patting the now empty space he looked at Armin with eyes full of sleep and lacking criticism. Not thinking it twice, he kicked off his shoes and got into the bed, where Eren covered him with the sheets and threw an arm around him.

He allowed himself a moment to breathe, content with the way Eren seemingly just got back to sleep, but of course, he should have known better “So? What happened?”

“Nightmare” he quickly replied “I’m sorry for waking you”

Considering the years they had spent together, it wasn’t uncommon to comfort one another after a nightmare or sharing a bed, what was uncommon though was Armin holding Eren’s hand while he was still asleep as if letting go would kill him. He hoped Eren accepted that as enough of an answer, he didn’t have any energy left to tell him his sorrows and regrets, and, now that he was so close to Eren, he could feel his eyelids getting heavier due to his soothing presence and warm body.

He yawned and began to slowly rub his back up and down “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No thanks”

“Then, can we talk about why were you gripping my hand?”

The sleep left his body once again, and with his body tensing and the hitch in his breath there was no way he could play dumb. It didn’t stop him from trying, though “It was nothing Eren, I’m sorry”

Eren sighed and began to pet his hair with his free hand, but that didn’t help him calm down “Armin, I know I’m not the brightest, but even I can tell that’s bullshit”

It was true, but he didn’t have to point it out.

Alright, it was time to play his last card “It’s late, and tomorrow we’re going to see Instructor Shadis. We should sleep”

With an air of finality he closed his eyes, hoping the reminder of tomorrow’s activities and his obvious unwillingness to talk would be enough to make Eren back off. He still didn’t know why Eren wanted to see their old instructor, but it seemed like it was important. He had spent the rest of the dinner distracted and seemingly lost in his thoughts, it had even worried Mikasa.

“Armin”

It was just a word, just his name, yet the tone Eren used broke his resolve.

If his tone had been firm and demanding, he wouldn’t have said anything.

If his tone had been angry, he would have felt guilty, but he still wouldn’t have said anything.

But his tone was hurt, like he couldn’t believe Armin didn’t trust him enough to tell him. And it was more than that. He was saddened by fact that Armin didn’t think that his problems were worth it, that nobody should be bothered by them.

How could he keep lying after that?

“I had a nightmare and I had to prove myself you were still here, that you were not eaten by a titan because of me”

They say that you feel better after telling someone, but the truth was that if anything, he felt worse. His eyes were full of tears and he had to bite his lip to stop the sob that threatened to come out. Why did he decide to take his hand? Why did he go to Eren’s room in the first place? He was not a kid anymore, he was a soldier. A useless, disposable soldier, but a soldier nonetheless.

He barely saw Eren frown before he was shoved into his chest “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Eren whispered in his hair, “I got myself killed”

Had it not been for the arms holding him in place he would have looked at Eren with the anger his lie provoked. How did he dare to lie about that? He had been there! Standing helplessly while the bright, young, passionate boy he loved died because he couldn't do something so simple like grab his hand and get him out of there. “You didn’t-”

“I did. I rushed into battle and lost my leg because of my own foolishness. Even if I hadn’t gotten eaten by that titan it was only a matter of time before another one found me” Eren’s voice was weirdly soft, and it took Armin a while to notice his hands were shaking. He quickly freed himself from the embrace, and worriedly looked at his friend’s face, only to find his beautiful teal eyes staring at him in such a way that he found himself breathless “I was glad that at least I had saved you, even if I hadn’t given up yet”

Almost ten years. He had known Eren for almost ten years and yet his determination, his willpower and courage kept surprising him.

“You really didn’t, did you?” he said, unable to keep the awe out of his voice “Everything was against you and you still managed to fight”

Because it was just as Hannes had said, Eren Jaeger could lose every fight and yet he would never, ever, give up.

Eren cracked a smile “Hey, I’ve been through worse”

He could confirm that.

After the fall of Wall Maria everything went downhill, and just when things were beggining to look better, Trost’s battle happened and it brought so much pain, losses and questions it was a wonder Eren still managed to smile and keep going.

He felt a lump in his throat, though this time his reason to cry was different “I know I don’t say it often enough, but I’m really grateful for you being in my life”

Eren’s hand found his, and as their hands found their way to his chest he heard him mutter a “Me too”

It was more than what Armin had wanted, but it seemed that was not enough to him “Without you… without you I wouldn’t even have a reason to fight, to make it alive after every battle for a motive other than revenge” he took a deep breath, and Armin could only focus in the way he could feel his heart beat faster and how his eyes appeared to shine under the moonlight “I guess what I’m saying is… I’ll take you to the sea, Armin, I promise”

How could he not cry after that? How could he not cry after hearing the way Eren felt about him? After seeing the resolve in his eyes as he promised he would give him what he wanted the most in his life?

There was an answer in those words to a question he hadn’t even asked, and yet it was just what he needed.

He didn’t know if it was his tiredness, the knowledge of how this peace was temporary, the vulnerability they were expressing, or something else, but something made him reach out with his free hand. He took a second to caress his cheek, before using that hand to get him closer to his face.

“I know you will”

A kiss.

It felt like coming home.

  
  


  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Why can't they just be happy?


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